A Magnet at 83

Susan isn't a schlump and doesn't dress like one. But her sense of style is not what draws people -- of all ages -- to her.

Like most 83 year olds, she's got everyday challenges that she didn't have a few years ago. It would be so easy for her to complain and no one would blame her.

One client told me about his friends' agreement: they're each allowed two minutes of kvetch time and a not a second longer. That may even be too long for Susan. As she says, "I'd get bored hearing myself talk."

My last call with Susan was as rich as it has been for the last 30 (what???) years as she:

• was grateful for her robust vegetable garden.

• was excited about all the things she has planned to see and do.

• laughed easily about fads she was clueless about.

• had thoughtful perspective about the state of the world and what it will take to repair it.

  For Susan, these attitudes are second nature. She's always so great to talk to, not because she's pollyannaish -- she's not at all. I keep calling because she's fun and interesting while keeping it real. Trust me, when she tells me about a challenge she's having, I listen closely.

  None of us want to be an obligation when we're older. We want to be someone others want to be around and want to care for and about. The time to start honing those skills is now. Who's with me?