I wasn’t really there for her

Where was I when my mother was packing up? 

My father had died. Ima had made the brave decision to move across the country. Now she just had to go through...an entire house!

Like most of our parents' homes, this one was filled with a lifetime of shared memories. 

I probably thought that not calling out the emotional piece would be easier. It's not like Ima wasn't thinking about it. It's not like she wasn't sad. So I guess it was just easier for, well, me. Sigh.

On my trip back, I put things into pack, donate and toss piles. There was so much to be done that I didn't stop to be with my mother, hear the stories and feel the feels. If I had known then what a I know now….

Such a missed opportunity.

Time for the movers. They got things into boxes and onto a truck. They were careful, but there wasn't a whole lot of sensitivity.

Moving is a huge ordeal. Imagine if you're older and widowed, on top of that? 

Did you know there are movers who specialize in supporting elder people and their families through home transitions? These people are amazing!

Take Andriana Mendez. She and her husband own Custom Moving and Hauling in the Bay Area. They'll work with anyone who needs help. But what makes them extra special is that they're certified to work with elder people.

We can't take everything. Andriana helps elders identify what makes the move and what stays behind. She listens to the stories. She'll even look at the floor plans of the new place to help with those decisions.

For anyone that's moving, here are Andriana's main tips to ease the pain:

• Don't wait until moving time to contact a mover. Find the right moving manager to help you through the process.

• Start packing up the non-essentials first and way ahead of time. Think garage and basement. 

• Even the most minimalist among us will have to get rid of stuff. Don't wait! Sift through your things on a regular basis.

• 💗 Bond with loved ones over stories about your treasures. Don't miss this opportunity.💗 You may not bring the piano, but you can talk about what it's meant.  

I wish I had known an Andriana when my mother was moving. There are ways - and people out there - to make moves less stressful and more meaningful. I'm happy to share resources. So please reach out!