What is Success?

When I ask clients to define success, their responses reveal personal values and the family histories that shaped them.

Jeff S. referenced family influences:

"Grandpa was always looking for shortcuts, trying to find the backdoor. I've always wanted to go through the front door—the right way through hard work, with integrity and by doing the right thing, just like Uncle Jack."

Rachel K. sees success as something that evolves:

"For me success is a moving target. As a parent it means you do the best you can. In terms of career, your status and people's view of you can change. So here, too, it's a moving target, a work in progress. We each have to figure out what's interesting and satisfying for us and then develop our own options."

I love her reminder that we get to define success for ourselves rather than accepting someone else's definition.

Then there's Patty W., who focused on the journey:

"For me, true success is about being motivated and having a desire to be committed. It's about learning from your successes and failures, remaining positive, meditating, staying in the moment, focusing and sticking to your plan for success."

She added this gem: "You don't need to achieve all this on your own. Find a mentor, practice and love yourself!"

David L. reflected on what truly matters at life's end:

I suppose that the pinnacle of success for me would be to simply be considered a mensch and one who, although he often falls short, tries consistently to do the right thing. If I have instilled that in my kids, then I've done my job."

He cuts right to what matters most.

Try asking this question

How about asking this at your next family dinner? Or on your next call with a parent or grandparent? You might be surprised by what you learn about the values that matter most to them.

And if you'd like help capturing these kinds of insights in a more structured way, let’s talk. Sometimes all it takes is the right question to unlock the stories that matter most.