I Feel Better Now

Stu was relieved. At 88, he laid awake worrying that his memories would disappear when he died. How would his grandchildren know the details of his emigration from China to San Francisco as a little boy. Who would describe his parents’ courage, fears and resilience? If not for his parents’ resolve, he knows there’s no way he would have had such a successful life. The same goes for his children and grandchildren.

Just knowing we would be writing all of this down lifted a huge weight from his shoulders.

Oral traditions are steeped in some cultures. Generally, though, stories lose color over time. Details and perspectives are naturally lost. Stu recognized the value of preserving firsthand memory. Who else could describe the way he lived and the things he saw? Who else could accurately say how he felt when he experienced his first taste of success?

Stu hadn’t shared these worries with his kids. He’s not alone. I hear this from clients all the time. Eileen said, “I had been thinking of writing each child a letter. I didn’t know where to begin, so I gave up.” Her adult children had no idea this was on her mind.

Do you know if your parents are thinking about their legacy? I know it can feel awkward to ask. Please reach out to me if you need help. I’d love to hear from you!