The Village

What can you tell me about Grandpa’s childhood?

You can learn a lot about your elder family members - alive or deceased - by asking asking just that one open-ended question. My mother and I talk on the phone every other day and I rarely ask about her parents. And family stories are my business!

Here’s what my client, Kay, had to say about her dad’s childhood:

“My dad was the youngest of five children with four older sisters. He was just four years old when his father was killed in an accident while crossing the railroad tracks on horseback. His mother, known as the Widow Reeves, was left to raise four daughters and a son.”

Can you imagine? How did she manage?

“The planting was done and the neighbors came to harvest the crops. That continued until the kids were old enough to take over.”

A huge effort, but that’s not how she sees it.

“It's just something you do if somebody is having a hard time.”

Kay described the way her neighbors gathered around her after her own husband died. They all knew that she had different political views. But in that part of the country, that’s her own business.

For them, a neighbor is a neighbor, someone to uplift when circumstances warrant it. No questions asked.

It’s when my mother and I are together — especially when we’e having lunch out — that I’ll ask just one question. She opens up with lots of memories, her own and what she’s pieced together.