A Complex Dad

When I asked Bridget what kind of father her deceased husband was to their kids, she took a deep breath.

I've become very comfortable with the silent pauses. 

"Family members see each other at their best and when they're not at their best. Gary made a real effort to not be like his father, but we only have the first-hand models that we have."

Bridget's letter gave her a chance to explain Gary's complexities to her kids. 

"His love didn't always come through in his effort. All he wanted was what all parents want. He wanted them to be the best they can be." 

What else do you know to be true?

"He loved his children absolutely. He was proud and delighted in them."

My client calls are not therapy. But you can see how they'd offer  relief, right? Bridget has had time to think about this. And now she feels a weight lift as she talked through this message to her kids. That’s priceless.