Aha Moment

A couple of months ago I had an epiphany -- I’m a really good mother. I’ve always known I’m an excellent manager, getting a lot done and nudging my kids to do the same. But I wasn’t hitting my full potential in what mattered most to me.

With each passing pandemic month, I’m more aware of the way I’m interacting with my kids, what I’m saying and how I’m saying it. And this new space and pace has helped me relax in some unexpected ways.  Of course, being together 24/7 offers plenty of practice.

Last month, I facilitated workshops that compared life before and during Covid. We looked at our routines, stresses, coping mechanisms and joys. Since shelter-in-place, my expectations have shifted. For one, I stopped caring if my son made it to his Zoom class. I actually made a conscious decision to let him get up (or not) and to “get to school” on his own. Yes, I know how long overdue that was. Not surprisingly, he’s totally risen to the occasion every morning. May seem small, but this has changed my whole day and our relationship. 

And when my daughter was tormented by the decision to stay or home or return to campus, I had the wherewithal to calmly help her unpack her concerns, fears and wishes and make a plan (my wheelhouse) to make a more informed decision. I was right there, helping without fixing. This was when I knew I had reached a new level. Now it’s not (just) about having a clean house or doing five errands on my way to a meeting. It’s about truly showing up in a loving, helpful way. This is what matters most to me. 

So while I hate almost everything that the pandemic has wreaked upon us, I truly do appreciate the space and pace it’s given me to up my parenting game - to step in or to step aside as needed. This is one pandemic surprise that I’ll take and build on.