Father’s Day for Those Who Have Lost a Father

For a few years after my father died, I dreaded Father's Day. To me, it felt like the most inconsiderate holiday. Cards, brunch, gifts? Not for my father. 

I resented Father's Day. Then I made it work for me.

I  put out an invitation for a workshop called, "Writing a Father's Day Card to the Father You've Lost". Even if no one signed up, I'd still go through the exercises. I'd still honor and appreciate my father in a tangible way.

Guess what? People did show up. Turns out I wasn't alone.

Your relationship with your father is unique. It may be uncomplicated and nourishing. Or maybe it is more complicated. Either way, Father’s Day gives each of us a chance to pause and hone in on his lovable or admirable traits and the impact he had - and continues to have - on us. Most people who showed up for the workshop wrote a letter to a father who had died or to a father who (for one reason or another) wasn't present in their lives. 

Whatever your situation, here are questions you can ask yourself:

• What are some qualities you loved about your father?

• What's a specific memory you have of him that you relish?

• What about your father - or your relationship with him - do you miss most? 

• How is your father still present in your life?

You can just reflect on these questions, but I highly recommend actually writing a letter to your father this Father's Day. You may be the only one reading it and being heartfelt will be perfection.

Happy Father's Day, Abba. I love you to the moon and back. Here's why.....