Numbers Game

My mother was 29 until I turned 20. Then she was 39.

"Are you comfortable telling us your age?"

That's how Julia Louise-Dreyfus starts each episode of her podcast, "Wiser than Me".

Gasp. I don't know about you, but I was taught that that is a very rude question. But why? 

There's a great list of reasons in the Huffington Post piece. The one that stands out is not news: in our society women's value decreases with age, something even strong women have internalized (note the natural, but expensive serums I apply morning and night).

"Hold old do you feel?"

Julia's female celebrity guests say that age is irrelevant. It's a mindset. Not to say that Jane Fonda and Debbie Allen aren't real about their aches and pains. "It depends how I feel when I get out bed."

I talk to elder women all the time. They admit to the real physical stuff that gets in the way of doing what they love to do. They've had to adapt, not their first choice. What they don't talk about (anymore) are their wrinkles or age spots. 

And yes, there are things that get better with age.

Here's what my clients put on their shortlist:

• Time is my own.

• Much less stress about money and kids.

• Choosing friends.

• Learning never stops.

And coming in at #1:

• Not giving a damn what other people think. 

• In the last few years, my mother has changed her tune. Ask her age now and she'll answer with a question: "How old do you think I am?" 

Seventy-five?

Makes her day every time. As she says, "I'm doing pretty great for my age." Yes, you are.

We're so afraid of getting old. There will be loss. And yes, it may take many more Debbie Allens and Julia Louise Dreyfus' to persuade the world that aging builds power and beauty. But as you can see there's lots of freedom and happiness in elderhood. 

Go out there and get schooled by someone older than you.

Find an elder person and ask him or her what gets better with age. We have a lot to look forward to!