Show Them They’re Relevant

Picture this: my parents, siblings, spouses and our teens were all sitting around the dining room table. That table has heard a lot of lively conversation over the years and this time was no different. We were talking about digital music platforms. Everyone had an opinion. Except for my parents.

While we chatted away, they just sat there. They didn’t know from Spotify yet alone its merits. Plus with everyone talking over one another, they couldn’t hear or keep up. So these two great conversationalists just sat there. Silent.

I’ve had many elder clients tell me that they don’t need much. They’re happy just having their people around them and hearing their joyful banter. I can see how lovely that would be. But it must get old, fast.

We all want to be seen...to feel relevant.

It’s not just kind to include everyone in the conversation. Just imagine what we could have learned -- what the teens at the table would have learned -- by pausing the conversation and asking my parents for their opinion or about their experience. Most importantly, the teens would have learned that my what my parents have to say matters.

Here are some things you can do to include your elder relatives in the conversation:

• For starters, be sure they can hear and understand the content. If not, sit right next to them and bring them along in the conversation.

• Quiet the conversation to ask their opinion or how it relates to them.

• Show you value their wisdom by making a point to ask for it.

• Turn the limelight on them. Shift the conversation to something they know about.

• Ask follow up questions to bring them in further.

Thankfully, we have so much to learn from each other and this never ends. Let’s make it a point to see, hear and value every person around the table.